Do you remember when you first explored the fetish world? Maybe you always lived in that milieu, or maybe you were introduced by a partner, friend or found it on your own. For newcomers in any community, the first steps into a new universe can be strange, insecure, a bit scary or even nerve racking, especially for shy people who don't dare ask too many questions.
When I first ventured into the fetish world, I was mostly at ease with the scene, intrigued by some activities, and excited at the thought of discovering new ones. And I just adored wearing my gorgeous latex outfits.
But what I found a bit more challenging were new words, expressions and acronyms. Some I knew, but others left me perplexed. Fetishists, who have been in the scene for a while, do not realise that an explanation is at times necessary for novices, as it becomes a natural language after some years.
In my quest to help newcomers to the scene, I have gathered a short list of basic fetish words and acronyms. I have also written some articles to explain some terms in more depth, as a mere definition does not always provide a full interpretation of a word.
Here are some words, acronyms and expressions you will discover as you enter the world of fetish:
Vanilla: A person who is not interested in the fetish scene, or is considered an outsider of the fetish world.
B&D: Bondage and Discipline or Domination. Some definitions use 'discipline' while others talk of 'domination'. In either case, it is the practice of training people to obey rules, or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience.
S&M: Sado Masochism, Sadism and Masochism.
BDSM: Bondage, Discipline or Domination, Sadism and Masochism.
D&S: Domination and Submission.
Dom: A male dominant who can also be called a Master. In a relationship between a dom and his partner, the dom is usually referred to as 'Master'.
Domme: A female dominant who can also be called a dominatrix or domina, also called a Mistress. In a partnership, the dominatrix is referred to as 'Mistress'.
Pro domme: A professional dominatrix. Those who have sessions with a pro domme will call her 'Mistress', and expect to be disciplined and dominated.
Bottom / Slave / Sub: A bottom or slave or sub is someone who is submissive in a relationship. There is no gender specific and in a more professional set up, such as sessions with a Dom or Domme, the sub will endure strict discipline or domination. In a more lasting relationship, it is the role the person chooses to live by.
Switch: A person who likes to go from playing the role of sub to playing the role of dom/domme, depending on personal preferences at specific times.
Play: To play in this context is simply taking part in BDSM or fetish related activities, with a partner or others, privately or in clubs, parties.
Munch: A social meeting for people who are in the scene. These meetings, or munches, usually happen in a neutral place, such as a pub, bar, or other. For this reason, people wear their everyday clothes and not their fetish outfits. They can discuss any fetish or BDSM-related topic, socialise, ask questions, and anything that is appropriate. An ideal place for newcomers to the scene.
Scene: the 'fetish scene' is all that is related to BDSM and fetish. The world or community of fetish and BDSM: parties, clubs, munches, the whole lifestyle related to this world.
As you start having fun exploring the world of fetish and BDSM, it is recommended to stick to some rules and essential understandings of specific guidelines. Fetishists talk about 'safe words' and 'sane and consensual', terms that need to be understood correctly before entering into any play.
But exploring the fetish world goes beyond playing safely with partners. When you venture out for new equipment or new venues and events, safety is also key. At Fetish Map London we are proud of the help we provide the fetish scene by ensuring that all listings have been researched and approved by us, before they take their place on the map, as the excitement of uncovering new avenues to explore our sexuality may overtake prudence. Feel free to contact us or visit our website, to find further information, or to purchase the map: www.fetishmap.co.uk
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