Monday, 29 June 2015

Reuben Kaye talks fetish with Fetish Map London

The international cabaret performer, Reuben Kaye, talks about the many sides of Fetish Map London. From specialised shops to clubs and services, the leading map of all things fetish and kinky provides all the information you need.

Listen to Reuben talk about it:

Eva Lamour

Friday, 19 June 2015

Fetish Words Definitions - 17 essential Fetish - BDSM related words for newcomers

Do you remember when you first explored the fetish world? Maybe you always lived in that milieu, or maybe you were introduced by a partner, friend or found it on your own. For newcomers in any community, the first steps into a new universe can be strange, insecure, a bit scary or even nerve racking, especially for shy people who don't dare ask too many questions.

When I first ventured into the fetish world, I was mostly at ease with the scene, intrigued by some activities, and excited at the thought of discovering new ones. And I just adored wearing my gorgeous latex outfits.

But what I found a bit more challenging were new words, expressions and acronyms. Some I knew, but others left me perplexed. Fetishists, who have been in the scene for a while, do not realise that an explanation is at times necessary for novices, as it becomes a natural language after some years.

In my quest to help newcomers to the scene, I have gathered a short list of basic fetish words and acronyms. I have also written some articles to explain some terms in more depth, as a mere definition does not always provide a full interpretation of a word.

Here are some words, acronyms and expressions you will discover as you enter the world of fetish:

Vanilla: A person who is not interested in the fetish scene, or is considered an outsider of the fetish world.

B&D: Bondage and Discipline or Domination. Some definitions use 'discipline' while others talk of 'domination'. In either case, it is the practice of training people to obey rules, or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience.

S&M: Sado Masochism, Sadism and Masochism.

BDSM: Bondage, Discipline or Domination, Sadism and Masochism.

D&S: Domination and Submission.

Dom: A male dominant who can also be called a Master. In a relationship between a dom and his partner, the dom is usually referred to as 'Master'.

Domme: A female dominant who can also be called a dominatrix or domina, also called a Mistress. In a partnership, the dominatrix is referred to as 'Mistress'.

Pro domme: A professional dominatrix. Those who have sessions with a pro domme will call her 'Mistress', and expect to be disciplined and dominated.

Bottom / Slave / Sub: A bottom or slave or sub is someone who is submissive in a relationship. There is no gender specific and in a more professional set up, such as sessions with a Dom or Domme, the sub will endure strict discipline or domination. In a more lasting relationship, it is the role the person chooses to live by.

Switch: A person who likes to go from playing the role of sub to playing the role of dom/domme, depending on personal preferences at specific times.

Play: To play in this context is simply taking part in BDSM or fetish related activities, with a partner or others, privately or in clubs, parties.

Munch: A social meeting for people who are in the scene. These meetings, or munches, usually happen in a neutral place, such as a pub, bar, or other. For this reason, people wear their everyday clothes and not their fetish outfits. They can discuss any fetish or BDSM-related topic, socialise, ask questions, and anything that is appropriate. An ideal place for newcomers to the scene.

: the 'fetish scene' is all that is related to BDSM and fetish. The world or community of fetish and BDSM: parties, clubs, munches, the whole lifestyle related to this world.

As you start having fun exploring the world of fetish and BDSM, it is recommended to stick to some rules and essential understandings of specific guidelines. Fetishists talk about 'safe words' and 'sane and consensual', terms that need to be understood correctly before entering into any play.

But exploring the fetish world goes beyond playing safely with partners. When you venture out for new equipment or new venues and events, safety is also key. At Fetish Map London we are proud of the help we provide the fetish scene by ensuring that all listings have been researched and approved by us, before they take their place on the map, as the excitement of uncovering new avenues to explore our sexuality may overtake prudence. Feel free to contact us or visit our website, to find further information, or to purchase the map:

Eva Lamour

Inside of Fetish Map London - Map and over 200 listings

Thursday, 11 June 2015


Who, in their right mind, is going to turn down an invitation to review the Oslo Fetish Weekend? My passion for travelling and cultural, and counter-cultural, exploration intertwined with a fetish party, was the perfect excuse for a weekend in Norway. Besides, I wanted to witness, first-hand, this land of 'happiness and serenity' and its people, adding the contrast of BDSM and fetish ambiance.

Oslo Fetish Weekend celebrated their first event this year, after months of careful preparation by producer Regina, who planned a whole array of entertainment for all taste and inclinations. Friday 8th May inaugurated the festivities with a free gathering, meeting and greeting all participants wishing to have a sneak preview. '50 Shades of Grey, done the right way', lead by Midori, launched the lineup of workshops available during the weekend. But the surprise of the weekend, for me, was the fetish fashion procession around the city. I wonder how many fetish fashion shows have used the streets of London as their catwalk?

The panoply of seminars, and classes, offered something for each tendency: Domestic discipline, kink advice, kinky speed dating practice, and not forgetting rope bondage, a favourite at all fetish festivals across the world.

Red Room Ball at Château Neuf

As for us, we were curious about the Red Room Ball, on Saturday night. Parties are perfect to meet the fetish community, when everybody is relaxed and buzzing, eager to socialise. The atmosphere tells the best story, worth a thousand words.

Château Neuf hosted this first Fetish party. A small venue offering a bar area, a lounge and a stage room, big enough to accommodate all visitors eager to watch the performances of the night. However, the size of this location didn't feel claustrophobic because, as we experienced early on in the city, the small population of Oslo reflected the size of the crowd this evening.

A small gathering compared to the London or Berlin Fetish Festival, but it is usual for first events to welcome fewer international participants. We have no doubt that in future years, this once-upon-a-time-small-event will become a must-experience fetish scene in Europe.

Fewer people doesn't imply less fun, and these kinksters were very eager to have the best time ever. The friendliness we encountered was above expectation. The crowd was by far the warmest I have encountered in fetish parties, big or small. After a few minutes absorbing the ambiance, we were approached by a charming couple who spoke about the fetish scene in Norway, and how delighted everyone was to finally welcome this event in their city.

I have attended endless fetish parties in London, where people tend to gather and socialise with their own group. Newcomers stand or stroll around the place on their own, and if they're extroverted they will try to start a conversation with other groups. But not many party-goers ever seem interested to communicate with people they don't know, unless they have a reason.  Norwegians are totally different. Their culture is about inclusion. Of course, generalising any cultural trait is incorrect, but this is what I experienced the whole weekend, either first-hand or while observing interactions in bars, restaurants, gatherings and sometimes in public transport.

In London, the best way to mingle in fetish parties is by infiltrating the smoking area, whether you smoke or not. Introduce yourself, join in some chats, and people are usually happy to talk to you. But in Oslo, if you are a newcomer, you are more likely to be approached by the regulars who want everybody to feel included. Impressive!

A mixture of sensuality, fetishism and voyeurism

The first performance of the night flew from Paris. L'Erosticratie, an 'artistic and political project' defying the meaning of sexual love in society, performs the art of eroticism on stage in all its forms and values. In this scene, the protagonist directed the play. Wearing a long white dress, and a ghostly face, she was living her erotic dream. Her remote control, or zapper, gave her full control of the other two characters on stage, leaving them at her mercy. A submissive nun, on a leash, who seemed to be in a trance, was led by her Master. Erotic play, the French way, was a mixture of sensuality, fetishism and voyeurism, as the protagonist gets turned on by the erotic play. An original and captivating tableau that won the whole crowd, and gave an outstanding ovation, asking for more…!

Not forgetting the compère tonight, Floyd Erik Vawter, the flamboyant goth artist, owned the stage with his theatrical parade and interactions. He was grand, witty with plenty of authority, as he reminded the crowd about the rules for the night, all in English.

I speak many languages, and English is my third language, but I am still amazed, when I travel to some of these festivals, to witness how English becomes the main, if not the only, language on stage. The whole festival used English as if it were their first language. So, for those brits worried about feeling isolated, do not fear, it will be all right on the night!

Bringing variety to the evening, Kiki Cherie, international burlesque performer from Sweden, delighted the spectators with her magnificent  bawdy routine. Teasing and charming the crowd, she entertained with grace and sensuality, earning her place in this festival celebrating all things erotic, kinky and perverted.

A fashion statement

As in all fetish parties, making a fashion statement is, for most, a major component of the night. Latex, leather or anything that tells the world 'I am into BDSM' or 'This is me living my fetish' is the norm at all festivals and parties. I was delighted to spot Regina, the organiser and hostess of this event, wearing a similar outfit to mine: Both modelling a creation by Libidex, one of the most successful latex fashion designers in London.

However, I was rather taken aback by the weirdest costume of the night: The biggest latex 'angry baby' full head mask I have ever come across. Rather freaky but not unexpected from the country that showcases the sculptures of Gustav Vigeland and his angry baby, probably the most photographed baby sculpture in the world. Why? Not sure, but if in Oslo, a must-see for all visitors.

If interested in this latex full head mask, the owner shared with us that it came from the USA, at a rather high cost, and had taken about three weeks. But, if you are looking for some original ideas, why not give it a go?

Fetish tourism

So, would we go back? Certainly! And I would encourage all fetishists and kinksters of the world to support Oslo Fetish Weekend next year.

We promote fetish tourism in all its forms, because cultural differences are best experienced through a community that defies all frontiers, and goes beyond language and national habits. Let's embrace the counterculture we belong to, and enjoy the fetish milieu, wherever that may be.

For more information on the event, visit:

Make sure you keep up to date with all the events we promote or purchase the map for more information, by visiting our website, or be part of our Facebook community:

Eva Lamour

Part of the Oslo Fetish Weekend Crew